Formal university process such as grade appeals, Title IX investigations, in-grade promotion and tenure package reviews are a regular part of university life. They are designed to determine facts, assess accountability, establish or adjust official decisions, and to meet legal compliance requirements. But after a formal process has run its course, relations between individuals involved are often strained. Additionally, there may be issues that are either not addressed or beyond the scope of the process.
Though it can be difficult, there are steps individuals can take to begin to restore peace and workable relations:
- Pause for process perspective - Consider the impact of the process on other participants, even if the events in question and the positions others took are still a source of tension. History has shown that feelings of being treated unfairly or having gotten a "raw deal" often create greater and more persistent conflict than the events that triggered conflict in the first place. On the other hand, feelings that a person got "a fair shake" even if the outcome was not what was hoped for can pave the way for restoration. Additionally, if a person feels that one who was perceived as an adversary or a decisionmaker was aware of how the process affected that person, it can help the disappointed or aggrieved person feel the power of empathy without requiring the parties to agree.
- Take two steps back from the formal process - It may seem counterintuitive, but explicitly considering what issues were not decided or were not addressed but still involved, or what people were affected as "bystanders" even if they were not part of the formal process, can help transform conflict from a binary to a more productive, future-oriented relationship. Although entertaining binary "me versus you," "us versus them," or "the system failed me" thoughts may help process emotions initially, remaining with those thoughts over time almost inevitably lead to entrenched conflict. Find ways to have conversations with others about unaddressed issues and the impact on bystanders without judgment.
- Seek peace in how you participated in the process - It is rare for participants in a formal process to feel completely satisfied with the outcome. Considering efforts you made notwithstanding the outcome to move through the process with integrity and dignity can bring feelings of peace that create a foundation for future working, learning and living together. Others will sense that and respond in kind, over time.